I don’t think any woman in the world starts dating a married man on purpose.
Or at least that’s what I would like to believe.
It just happens.
I am going to tell you why you should break up this type of relationship if you find your self at one at this precise moment in life.
I know it’s hard. I also know it’s also exhilarating, you think he is boosting your self esteem, he treats you like a princess, you never fight (except when you want more), sex is great, this is the best relationship you’ve ever had!
Well, it’s NOT.
I was involved with a married man myself. A relationship that lasted for over 3 years. I don’t regret any of it because it was the best “University” I could have attended on “relationships”.
It started in the most harmless way. Being the owner of my favorite restaurant, which I attended at least 3 times a week, I would always chat with him whenever I saw him. The service at the restaurant has always been great, but to me was even greater, when I got sent a glass of wine, or a plate compliments of “the house”. I liked the attention, I loved the free wine and food however I would later learn that was the most expensive wine and “free” food of my life!
Women are a different kind of human being. We love the attention. We love conversation. You want to get into a woman’s heart? It’s as simple as “talking and listening” to her. We love the fact that someone wants to get to know us. We are tired of men who have just met us and want to take us to bed. We love the wine and dinning. We are creatures of attention. All we want is to be treated like a princess.
Well… married men have a “Master’s Degree” on “How to treat women like a Princess”. We naively think that this is because they come from a different planet. A different race. Something over the years has taught them how to treat a woman, and they have perfected it so well.
If you are one of the women that think that: you are VERY wrong.
The reason these men treat “other” women outside their relationships like a Princess is because they can’t offer you anything else!
What else can he offer you that would make you stay? Would you be in a relationship with a married man who treated you badly? Of course not.
Therefore they are charming; at the beginning of the relationship they boost your ego so high. They are constantly complementing you on your body, your hair, how beautiful you look with this or that. Your charming and wonderful personality. Some of them even dare to badmouth the guy in your last relationship. How stupid he was not to value you, and let you go.
All of them are the same. Sometimes I wonder if they go to some special school were they all get the same “education”.
And of course let’s not forget the “I’m not happy in my marriage and I will be divorcing soon”
It seems like they are the victims of a loveless marriage. A martyr of love. Sacrificing his own happiness for the good of his children and wife. But all of this is just about to end. Or so he says. And this is where our “maternal” instinct comes in. We want to take care of him, make him happy. Rescue him from his troubles.
What we don’t know is that we are in for the biggest emotional roller coaster ride of our lives!
Everyone likes stability in their lives. We like continuity of what we start. And this is where these relationships fail. Stability is a concept that is non existent in these relationships.
At first it seems like a wonderful place to be. You are so attracted to this wonderful man. You are going to make it your life mission to make him happy and rescue him from the hell he has been living.
You start to “date”. And with all the limitations this type of “dating” brings it’s still worth it. The time you spend together is wonderful. It’s real quality time.
As the relationship keeps growing you start wanting more. You involve him more in your life. You introduce him to your closest friends. Those friends who don’t judge you for dating a married man. If you are happy so are they. Good for you.
You have a great time introducing him into your “circle” he fits right in, and everyone can see how much he loves you. It’s just a matter of time before he leaves his wife for good and starts a life with you.
You take him to your favorite places. He gets to know you more. You think you are getting to know him more, and start wondering where he has been your entire life. Where was this perfection hiding? This is the man you have been waiting to come around your entire life.
You start putting your life on hold. If he can’t go with you to a friend’s dinner party you don’t go because you rather stay at home where he knows you will be safe. He is worried about your safety. A beautiful woman like you alone at night? Only God knows what could happen to you. He won’t be mad if you go. But he will be so much at ease if he knows you are safe. Translation: I am an insecure man who knows can’t offer you much and is very afraid that you might find someone else who can.
You start making him a part of all decision making in your life. You tell him about the weekend trip you have planned with your girlfriend to the beach. Since you don’t see him on weekends you need to make some plans so you won’t go crazy. All of a sudden he shows up at the beach. Not to spend the weekend. Just to spend a couple of hours with you so that you know how much he loves you. You are walking on air. He sacrificed being caught to spend some time with you. He is getting ready to make the move. Translation: He wants to make sure you are alone with your girlfriend and not cheating on him like he is cheating in his wife. He probably had a fight with his wife that day and went out for some air.
Things are moving on. You are becoming more “serious”. He calls you every day and even from his home phone! Wow, that must mean that he can’t live without you. He really wishes he was with you every second of the day. However a holiday is coming up and he is going away on a trip with his family. You understand he has to go. He had planned this before he met you. And besides his wife can’t get too suspicious or otherwise she won’t give him the divorce he needs to marry you. You try to be understanding but let him know how much you are hurting. So he sends flowers. He asks his secretary who is his loyal worker and accomplice to send you flowers, or chocolates for every day that he is gone. This way he will let you know how much he misses you. Translation: He wants to keep you happy so that you don’t have time to plan a way of letting his wife know about the affair and throw him out of the house so that you can finally be together.
After the trip is over he takes you out for an amazing evening, followed by the most amazing sex you’ve ever had. This is his way of telling you how much he missed you and how ready he is to ask his wife for a divorce. However Christmas is just around the corner and he doesn’t want to spoil the Holidays for the kids. So he will do it after the holidays.
You start planning what the rest of your life will be with this wonderful man by your side.
The Holidays pass. You don’t want to pressure him, so you wait for him to mention it. However nothing happens. In mid March you ask him about his plans and he says that his kid is graduating high school in a couple of months and he needs you to wait a little bit longer. You love him so much you are willing to do anything for him. So you wait.
This becomes a never ending story. He will always have “something” that will prevent him from divorcing his wife. And the reason is: he has a wonderful relationship with his wife and doesn’t want to leave her. It’s just that he likes to be a “Casanova” it makes him feel younger when younger women pay attention to him. He wants to feel that he’s still got it.
Finally you get it and decide to break it off. You had already pictured yourself as a Mrs. Not a mistress and you won’t go along with this. It’s either all or nothing. To your surprise he doesn’t fight you. He knows it’s time and let’s you go.
You are left with a very low self esteem. Alone. Having lost opportunities with men that were really interested in you and were single. However most of them are married now, because you just spent 3 years of your life with this man.
So, to conclude: Married men RARELY leave their wives over an affair. All they want is to feel younger. To have a good time. If you are not in the market for that type of relationship run the other direction. Don’t give him a chance. The moment you open that door, it will be almost impossible to close it without getting hurt.
Good luck to you all!
Or at least that’s what I would like to believe.
It just happens.
I am going to tell you why you should break up this type of relationship if you find your self at one at this precise moment in life.
I know it’s hard. I also know it’s also exhilarating, you think he is boosting your self esteem, he treats you like a princess, you never fight (except when you want more), sex is great, this is the best relationship you’ve ever had!
Well, it’s NOT.
I was involved with a married man myself. A relationship that lasted for over 3 years. I don’t regret any of it because it was the best “University” I could have attended on “relationships”.
It started in the most harmless way. Being the owner of my favorite restaurant, which I attended at least 3 times a week, I would always chat with him whenever I saw him. The service at the restaurant has always been great, but to me was even greater, when I got sent a glass of wine, or a plate compliments of “the house”. I liked the attention, I loved the free wine and food however I would later learn that was the most expensive wine and “free” food of my life!
Women are a different kind of human being. We love the attention. We love conversation. You want to get into a woman’s heart? It’s as simple as “talking and listening” to her. We love the fact that someone wants to get to know us. We are tired of men who have just met us and want to take us to bed. We love the wine and dinning. We are creatures of attention. All we want is to be treated like a princess.
Well… married men have a “Master’s Degree” on “How to treat women like a Princess”. We naively think that this is because they come from a different planet. A different race. Something over the years has taught them how to treat a woman, and they have perfected it so well.
If you are one of the women that think that: you are VERY wrong.
The reason these men treat “other” women outside their relationships like a Princess is because they can’t offer you anything else!
What else can he offer you that would make you stay? Would you be in a relationship with a married man who treated you badly? Of course not.
Therefore they are charming; at the beginning of the relationship they boost your ego so high. They are constantly complementing you on your body, your hair, how beautiful you look with this or that. Your charming and wonderful personality. Some of them even dare to badmouth the guy in your last relationship. How stupid he was not to value you, and let you go.
All of them are the same. Sometimes I wonder if they go to some special school were they all get the same “education”.
And of course let’s not forget the “I’m not happy in my marriage and I will be divorcing soon”
It seems like they are the victims of a loveless marriage. A martyr of love. Sacrificing his own happiness for the good of his children and wife. But all of this is just about to end. Or so he says. And this is where our “maternal” instinct comes in. We want to take care of him, make him happy. Rescue him from his troubles.
What we don’t know is that we are in for the biggest emotional roller coaster ride of our lives!
Everyone likes stability in their lives. We like continuity of what we start. And this is where these relationships fail. Stability is a concept that is non existent in these relationships.
At first it seems like a wonderful place to be. You are so attracted to this wonderful man. You are going to make it your life mission to make him happy and rescue him from the hell he has been living.
You start to “date”. And with all the limitations this type of “dating” brings it’s still worth it. The time you spend together is wonderful. It’s real quality time.
As the relationship keeps growing you start wanting more. You involve him more in your life. You introduce him to your closest friends. Those friends who don’t judge you for dating a married man. If you are happy so are they. Good for you.
You have a great time introducing him into your “circle” he fits right in, and everyone can see how much he loves you. It’s just a matter of time before he leaves his wife for good and starts a life with you.
You take him to your favorite places. He gets to know you more. You think you are getting to know him more, and start wondering where he has been your entire life. Where was this perfection hiding? This is the man you have been waiting to come around your entire life.
You start putting your life on hold. If he can’t go with you to a friend’s dinner party you don’t go because you rather stay at home where he knows you will be safe. He is worried about your safety. A beautiful woman like you alone at night? Only God knows what could happen to you. He won’t be mad if you go. But he will be so much at ease if he knows you are safe. Translation: I am an insecure man who knows can’t offer you much and is very afraid that you might find someone else who can.
You start making him a part of all decision making in your life. You tell him about the weekend trip you have planned with your girlfriend to the beach. Since you don’t see him on weekends you need to make some plans so you won’t go crazy. All of a sudden he shows up at the beach. Not to spend the weekend. Just to spend a couple of hours with you so that you know how much he loves you. You are walking on air. He sacrificed being caught to spend some time with you. He is getting ready to make the move. Translation: He wants to make sure you are alone with your girlfriend and not cheating on him like he is cheating in his wife. He probably had a fight with his wife that day and went out for some air.
Things are moving on. You are becoming more “serious”. He calls you every day and even from his home phone! Wow, that must mean that he can’t live without you. He really wishes he was with you every second of the day. However a holiday is coming up and he is going away on a trip with his family. You understand he has to go. He had planned this before he met you. And besides his wife can’t get too suspicious or otherwise she won’t give him the divorce he needs to marry you. You try to be understanding but let him know how much you are hurting. So he sends flowers. He asks his secretary who is his loyal worker and accomplice to send you flowers, or chocolates for every day that he is gone. This way he will let you know how much he misses you. Translation: He wants to keep you happy so that you don’t have time to plan a way of letting his wife know about the affair and throw him out of the house so that you can finally be together.
After the trip is over he takes you out for an amazing evening, followed by the most amazing sex you’ve ever had. This is his way of telling you how much he missed you and how ready he is to ask his wife for a divorce. However Christmas is just around the corner and he doesn’t want to spoil the Holidays for the kids. So he will do it after the holidays.
You start planning what the rest of your life will be with this wonderful man by your side.
The Holidays pass. You don’t want to pressure him, so you wait for him to mention it. However nothing happens. In mid March you ask him about his plans and he says that his kid is graduating high school in a couple of months and he needs you to wait a little bit longer. You love him so much you are willing to do anything for him. So you wait.
This becomes a never ending story. He will always have “something” that will prevent him from divorcing his wife. And the reason is: he has a wonderful relationship with his wife and doesn’t want to leave her. It’s just that he likes to be a “Casanova” it makes him feel younger when younger women pay attention to him. He wants to feel that he’s still got it.
Finally you get it and decide to break it off. You had already pictured yourself as a Mrs. Not a mistress and you won’t go along with this. It’s either all or nothing. To your surprise he doesn’t fight you. He knows it’s time and let’s you go.
You are left with a very low self esteem. Alone. Having lost opportunities with men that were really interested in you and were single. However most of them are married now, because you just spent 3 years of your life with this man.
So, to conclude: Married men RARELY leave their wives over an affair. All they want is to feel younger. To have a good time. If you are not in the market for that type of relationship run the other direction. Don’t give him a chance. The moment you open that door, it will be almost impossible to close it without getting hurt.
Good luck to you all!
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